The video in question is embedded below, and it’s everything we’ve come to expect from Gaga, with a little Beyonce thrown in the mix. Gaga’s an inmate at a Prison For Bitches. There’s a Gaga penis joke within the first minute and a half. She wears sunglasses with lit cigarettes glued to them. She has thick black Chola eyebrows Michael K would pee himself over. Beyonce picks her up from prison in the Kill Bill Pussy Wagon.

We’re confused. But we like kinda it.

Play “spot the sponsors!” while you watch the video below:

UPDATE: The video has been mysteriously marked “private.” Seems like it was released a couple of hours early, before its scheduled 11:30 p.m. ET premiere on E! News. We’ll check the link again after its official premiere.

UPDATE #2: As we suspected, the link’s back up and running. Enjoy!

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What do you think about the Grey’s news? Is it any surprise that Katherine is leaving? Are you sad she won’t be back so her character gets a proper goodbye?

(Photo: WENN.com)

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True, Lilly gave one of her weakest performances of the season on Tuesday, but we didn’t even consider the fact that America would vote her out. Katelyn, on the other hand, we suspected might go. But that doesn’t mean we have to agree with it. As for the men, Todrick probably sealed his fate by delivering the recently Glee-ified “Somebody to Love” with an almost cartoon-like exuberance, but how Aaron Kelly managed to make it but Alex didn’t will continue to remain one of the greatest mysteries of life.

So, America, that means your top 12 American Idol season 9 finalists are, in no particular order, Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Lacey Brown, Siobhan Magnus, Paige Miles, Katie Stevens, Lee Dewyze, Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Aaron Kelly, and Tim Urban. Who are you rooting for? (For the record, Crushable is on Team Siobhan, until her eventual elimination because that’s how it always goes for the people we root for, on which occasion we will be switching to team Bowersox.)

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Britney Spears, singer (@britneyspears):

Ryan Seacrest, TV and radio host (@RyanSeacrest):

Adam Lambert, singer (@adamlambert):

Julie Benz, actress (@juliebenz):

Emma Roberts, actress (@RobertsEmma):

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Today’s PM Crush Links, a daily roundup of the afternoon’s most talked-about celebrity news:

• Ryan Gosling wrote a letter to the CEO of McDonald’s urging him to standardize a more humane way to slaughter the chickens the company uses in its food. [Just Jared]

• Molly McNearny, co-head writer of Jimmy Kimmel Live, and Lenny Kravitz both talked to EW about making the “Handsome Men’s Club” video. [EW]

• Former America’s Best Dance Crew judge Shane Sparks pleaded not guilty to charges of child molestation. [TMZ]

• Christina Ricci was photographed being hauled out of a Paris club last night looking like she’d had a drink or ten. [The Superficial]

• Kristen Stewart made a very pleasant and un-stuttery appearance on The Tonight Show last night. [Lainey Gossip]

• Richard Belzer of Law & Order: SVU denies assaulting an Apple store employee yesterday. [Daily Intel]

• Gabourey Sidibe’s mother spoke to Inside Edition about Howard Stern’s criticism of her daughter’s size and thoughts on her daughter’s career. [Inside Edition]

• DJ Tracy Young discussed her relationship with Real Housewife Kim Zolciak. [The Advocate]

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There was the vicious tongue-lashing from a woman who represented Jeremy Piven; back in 2005, when New Yorkers went to clubs like Marquee for the bottle service and celeb gawking, I was dispatched by the magazine I worked at to a nightspot where Piven was doing a promotional thingy for Hamptons magazine. The Pivs, then on a PR bender after getting well-deserved recognition for Entourage, seemed exhausted, catatonic, spent. I approached him for an interview but he could barely stand up; his then-publicist ordered me to interview  publisher Jason Binn instead and I was all, “Who’s that?” (No offense Jason Binn, but you’re no Ari Gold.)

She got in my face and shrieked bloody murder, and while I can’t quite recall what she said, my ears still burn to this day.  As a straightforward Midwestern girl who was naive to the dark side of celebrity journalism, it was a fascinating and crude initiation into the machinations behind it: one in which the stars are sometimes driven to near-exhaustion on the promotional circuit, the PR people driven nearly paranoid trying to protect their clients and the reporters reduced to peons to nab That One Interview.

Soon after club-stalking Piven and Lindsay Lohan for that specific magazine — called Inside TV, it lasted only eight months  — I moved to The Associated Press as an entertainment reporter. That meant not only covering the ongoing narratives of celebrities’ lives (births, deaths, trainwrecks, Britney) but also interviewing lots of them for projects they promoted. While most interviews went smoothly, with subjects willing to smile and provide a soundbite or candid conversation, others exposed the cold hard truth: Sometimes celebrities you admired can let you down, and sometimes they can be jerks (and aren’t afraid to let you know it). Sometimes their harried handlers can’t control their client’s  behavior (and all hell breaks loose as a result).

Such experiences have been few and far between, with stars from Robert Redford to Anne Hathaway to David Hasselhoff no less than lovely, obliging and game for an interview. But here are some encounters with boldfaced names that sent a chill down my spine and left me feeling like an ego-deflated peon with a tape recorder:

• Travis McCoy, the guy from Gym Class Heroes who used to date Katy Perry, gave mostly monosyllabic answers to my questions and ate potato chips during an interview in the Heroes’ trailer outside a concert in downtown Manhattan. At one point, he took his hand out of the potato-chip bag and smeared the grease on my sleeve. Out of nowhere. I have a weak stomach so I almost threw up right then in the trailer. His publicist sat there with a serene stare, possibly screaming internally, possibly just used to it.  Either way, harrowing!

• Eva Longoria iced me out while promoting those estrogen-targeted gourmet M & M’s in the tents at New York Fashion Week. She was most likely getting paid the big bucks because otherwise she might not have shilled for M & M’s in full view of the most fashionable people in the world. And she was most likely not in the mood to discuss the pregnancy rumors that were dogging her at the time when I walked into a backstage VIP lounge for our interview — which was, of course, meant to focus on Eva’s love for M & M’s. The effervescent actress was unusually chilly: her body language was stiff, her expression sour.  After three minutes of trying and failing to get Eva to open up (and be funny like she is on the TV), I went in for the money question: “How do you respond to rumors you and Tony are pregnant?” To this, she zipped her mouth shut and refused to answer any other questions. She did not give the throwaway “No comment” or redirect the conversation to Desperate Housewives or even those blasted M & M’s.  I thanked her for her time, got up and walked out — sigh of relief. My next interview was Olympic swimmer Dara Torres, a breath of fresh warm air compared with Eva’s arctic chill.
• Neil Patrick Harris. Smart guy, great entertainer, provocateur. Yet NPH broke my heart a little after he claimed through hard-charging publicists that I had taken his words out of context in a story I’d written about CBS’ How I Met Your Mother and his disdain for stunt casting. (This was after the show began recruiting string of celeb guest stars including Britney, by far the most high-profile). He talked candidly on the L.A.-based set on the show and, when asked which actress might turn out to be  “Mystery Woman” — then a plot point on the show in the spring of 2008 — Neil responded,  “No telling, but based on the stunt casting we’ve done in the past I’m guessing Tara Reid.” Oh, burn! The story hit the wire, and the next morning, I received a flurry of furious emails and phone calls from CBS and Neil’s representation, accusing me of pulling a “bait and switch” and seeking out only Britney scoop (rather than writing an innocuous story about how great the show was–and STILL is, by the way). That was not the case but they hit back via Entertainment Weekly’s web site, which ran a statement from Neil saying I’d taken some quotes of his and speculated on their intent. My story spread like wildfire, hitting all the entertainment news shows — proof that I had done something right, I think — but it took me a while to get over a simple fact: Doogie had done me wrong!!! Neil Patrick Harris, who EVERYONE LOVES! (Except my mother). He did take some responsibility in his statement, however, conceding: “My job description is to act, and I should really do just that.” But he clearly enjoys stirring up controversy — celebs would be far more interesting were they to follow his lead — and when a former AP colleague encountered Neil on the red carpet, he made a snarky comment to the effect of: “You’re the AP? Oh, I don’t talk to you!” OH, BURN. (Gratuitous Seinfeld reference: Neil is my Newman).

So, let’s hear it! Has anyone in the celeb-sphere acted in a way that took you by surprise? Someone out there must have some juicy stories. Share your comments below.

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Earlier today, we tried our hand on stupid captions. Now it’s your turn. How would you caption this snapshot of Real Housewives of New York City’s Jill Zarin? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

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(Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images)

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At the U.K. premiere of The Bounty Hunter today. (Photo by WENN.com)

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1. Everyone has a “thing.” What’s yours?

2. What’s your backstory?
Born in a crossfire hurricane, raised in western Sydney, reared on B movies in the glory days of VHS, did a whole lotta crappy jobs and some good ones, before winding up a movie critic who’s kinda obsessed with freaked-out flicks. The circle of life, eh?

3. Name your karaoke song (and don’t be shy).
You don’t wanna hear me warble. But if I were to torture your ears, it’d be the obscure “All Touch” by Rough Trade. So, that’d be me trying to sound like a Canadian lesbian New Wave songstress, circa 1982. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

4. Who are your biggest influences?
Apart from Rough Trade? I love the clever wordsmiths, folks like David Sedaris, Chuck Klosterman, A.J. Jacobs and Spalding Gray, and the quick-witted funnymen like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Make me laugh and think and you’re my hero.

5. What is it you most dislike?
Never having enough time to do everything. That and assholes.

6. Whose job would you like to steal?
I’d like to take Anthony Lane’s job. Write a couple thousand great words about a movie or two for The New Yorker once a fortnight. The rest of the time I could indulge my new passion: building a solar-powered superman out of bits scavenged from the dumpsters outside of Radio Shack and hospital emergency departments. Mwu-hahaha.

7. What was your best date?
Dinner party at a friend’s joint. Almost didn’t go because I was mega hungover. Wound up with a wife and kid out of it. Not that first night, mind you.

8. What was your worst?
My first ever date. Simone. I only half liked her but I invited her to the premiere of Cocoon. Tried to hold her hand, because I thought I should. She pulled away. Awkward and embarrassing, compounded by the fact that I just wasn’t that into her. So, that was last week and I’m still recovering. Kidding – I was 14.

9. When I wake up in the middle of the night its because I’ve had a nightmare that I’m ___ .
Stuck forever in a cinema showing Cocoon, watching old farts returning to their youth, with a half-erection over a girl I don’t find that attractive. No, wait, that was a Twilight Zone episode I saw one time.

10. I feel my best when I’m wearing ___ .
At the moment, it’s when I’m wearing head gear, kneepads, elbow pads, shin guards, groin protector, 16-ounce boxing gloves and a mouthguard. Before you think that’s some sort of sex thing, let me assure you it’s because I’m learning Krav Maga, a crazy-ass form of self-defence that, at present, involved me getting punched and kicked a helluva lot. Without the gear, I’d be sucking pureed food through a straw while my four-year-old daughter answered *my* questions about why puppies noses are wet.

11. Please settle the debate: New York or LA?
New York City, represent. It’s my favorite place on Earth. You can walk everywhere, the people come in all shapes and sizes, the place pulses with mental energy good and bad, and it’s always happening. That and you can be assured that Roland Emmerich will destroy the place every few years with a tidal wave, alien laser beam or giant prehistoric lizard.

12. What’s on your playlist at this very moment?
The King Khan & BBQ Show’s self-titled album. Somehow these guys manage to fuse virtually every rock and blues and punk sound into these quirky, genuine and weirdly singable little ditties. They’re fucking awesome, but I’m mixing it up with Them Crooked Vultures and Brant Bjork because, like, he wears a bandana, sunglasses and sings about spacemen, so you know he’s always gonna be more stoned that you.

13. What are you watching on TV?
The Wire. I caught the first season back when it first aired and I was all like, “Wow, amazing!” and no-one knew what I was talking about. Then I missed the other seasons and suddenly it’s The Best Show Ever. Which it is. So I’m finally catching up, having been both behind and ahead of the curve on that one. Also: The Soup – I would love Joel McHale’s job; he’s one of the great ones.

14. If you alone held the power to pick a boyfriend for Jennifer Aniston, who would you pick?
I like Jen, I really do, but damn am I sick of hearing about whether she’s in love, out of love, lonely or not. So, I’d have to say someone who she couldn’t ever break up with. Jason Vorhees? Or is that cruel?

15. Given the chance, would you rather hang out with George Clooney or Robert Downey Jr.?
Tough call. I think Clooney’s cool and all but I’m thinking Downey Jr would be funnier. Plus he’d have the best drug stories.

16. If you were a character on any movie or TV show, past or present, who would you be?
I called it when I was seven: Han Solo. What’s not to love? He has the best pet, cool threads, never ages, gets the girl, and blows plenty of shit up in the name of cosmic righteousness. So, him. Or maybe Joe Dirt.

17. What is your drug of choice?
My body is a temple — just one of those kinda ancient ones that’ve seen their share of looters over the years. I enjoy vandalizing myself with beer, the odd joint, and, most stupidly, I still fire up cigarettes when I’m drunk. Still, it’s better than back in the day, when I was kinda the human equivalent of a chemically soaked New Jersey wasteland.

18. What’s the last thing you think about before falling asleep at night?
That one day I’m gonna be asked to answer oddball questions by a prestigious new media outlet. So, I practice coming up with true-but-entertainingly offbeat answers that make me sound about 12.4 % cooler and 16.5% more interesting than I actually am. Holy shit! It’s happening? How did I do?

Michael Adams is a movie critic from Sydney, Australia. He embarked on a quest to watch one bad movie a day for a year, and the resulting book, Showgirls, Teen Wolves, and Astro Zombies, is out now.

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